Something I Can Never Have
by lucy sinclair
Summary: Craig Tucker. Tall, toned, and terrifying. Girls went crazy over him. And why wouldn't they? Thick black locks, blue hazel eyes, and flawless skin. To everyone- he was a laid back, monotone, stoic guy. Hero of the wrestling team and high school's A list. To me- he was a ticking time bomb full of rage and hate. And my daily abuser.
1. Friend or Foe

**[Hello again. Wow. It's been a while since I've posted something not a one shot. I've been working on this one for a little while and thought it had potential. So let's see how it goes. Tell me what you think- if this story is worth contining. Enjoy :D]**

My books were thrown from my hands and landed in a tumbling heap. I yelped in agony as I was thrown against the ice cold lockers. My head banged against them. I trembled in fear. I was prey, helpless prey. And my predator knew it. A fist connected into my stomach. The air was forced from my body and I doubled over. I caught myself- big mistake. It was taken as a sign of resistance and another fist slammed in my jaw. The force flung me to the ground. I knew better this time. I let myself lay still on the floor; showing submission. I wanted to close my eyes when the pain came- but he needed to see how pathetic and scared I was. Then he'd get bored and go away.

Please- please just go away!

A foot pressed down on my side in a humiliating and dominating way. But I swallowed hard and let him get all the satisfaction if it meant my assault was over.

"Twitchy little bitch." A glob of saliva landed right next to my face. Gross. I just wanted it to be done. He must've timed this perfectly because he finished up right before the bell rang and disappeared as the cluster of kids flooded the hallway. I coughed and collected myself up from the floor. I fixed my flannel shirt and dusted off the foot print on it. I fixed my messy blonde hair as much as gravity would allow before I reached down to collect my books. I survived another day.

Craig Tucker. Tall, toned, and terrifying. Girls went crazy over him. And why wouldn't they? Thick black locks, blue hazel eyes, and flawless skin. To everyone- he was a laid back, monotone, stoic guy. Hero of the wrestling team and high school's A list. To me- he was a ticking time bomb full of rage and hate. And my daily abuser.

I don't know why, but Craig Tucker hates me. Like _really _hates me. Like beat-the-shit-out-of-me-whenever-we-are-alone hates me. I don't know what I did to piss him off either, but whatever it was, it must've been really bad. I begged and pleaded at first- triedto do anything to make him leave me alone that didn't invlve getting someone else involved. But it seemed no matter what I did- he found it irritating.

Before the beatings first started happening, he would glare at me all the time. I didn't know why- I mean I didn't have any classes with him, so at first I had no idea why he didn't like me. I had assumed I had gotten in his way too many times to invoke such a frightening stare down. I couldn't think of anything else I've done to him. I was bumping into him everywhere. The lunch line, the lockers, the bathroom, and even when walking home. When I say I bumped into him- I mean it. I always managed to get caught right in front of him and he would stare angrily at me. He mus've noticed too and began getting pissed at me for it. What else could it be? I've never said a word to him in my life!

So I decided he must be getting irritated of constantly running into me. It was the only thing that made sense. So I kept an eye out for him. If I saw him walk toward me- I went the other way. If I was in front of him in the lunch line, I went to the back. If he walked into the bathroom I ran out. I even changed my route walking home.

Yet ,somehow, I still managed to run into him. Soon it seemed like no matter where I went, he was there- staring at me with those cold colored eyes. I decided I'd stop avoiding him and to talk to him since it wasn't likely the run ins would stop. It felt like he was puropsely running into me so he could stare me down. I didn't want to keep getting dogged. There had to be bad blood and if that was the case- maybe some friendly conversation would ease it up. Or at least give me a cle as what to do so I can fix it.

Big mistake.

I'm not sure if he's from a place where 'Hello' is a huge insult- because when I said it to him he pulled a fist back and slammed it into my face. i fell to the floor stunned as he left. He punched me! But then that meant he was over it- right? Wrong. It was only the beginning. Then became worse. He started shoving me and elbowing me when we passed by in the halls and such. I decided I must have said or done something to offend him in the second I spoke to him. No one would beat someone up suddenly for no reason, right? Next time when I saw him, I apologized. After which he started wailing on me. After that, whenever he found me- he beat me. No words and no reasons- he just hits. He never leaves marks where they would be seen- and holy hell- he hits hard.

And that's pretty much my life it seems. Going to school, getting beat by Craig Tucker, helping out my dad in the café, then going to sleep. I don't have any friends anymore. Once Craig started beating me, I grew ashamed of myself even more so than normal. I mean look at me. I'm a skinny, lanky, yellow haired, pale kid with scars all over from my nervous twitch. I have so many mental illnesses that I could be a cautionary tale of smoking during pregnancy [even though my mother didn't]. My self image wasn't that great to begin with- then to be the subject of torture like some crappy 1980's movie nerd- well I hit an all time low. I isolated myself from the few friends I did have out of shame, and eventually they stopped keeping me in the loop. So I also became a loner.

Perfect.

I was _that_ weird kid.

Me.

Lovely.

It probably would've been easier to bear if I was super smart or had some really cool skill. So I could have some kind of a 'fuck you' t society and know I'm cool in my own way. But I actually have to study if I want to pull off A's. The only subject I'm overly knowledgeable at is different types of coffee- and that isn't exactly all the rage. As far as special skills go- simply not dying of a heart attack was as big of an accomplishment as I could get. I was bad at sports. And when you live in a town full of hicks, that kind of makes you subject to ridicule. I can't act or speak in front of a large group of people- so the theatre clubs weren't really an option. And I probably am the one guy in the world that can't play video games to save my life. All my settings are on easy [go ahead and check]. The only thing I can do is draw- and even that is shit. I suck at everything.

I can't even justify my solitude by saying I'm a straight edge and didn't want to be involved in the crowd anyway- because I'm not. I smoke, I drink, I've done weed a couple of times. And I like it. I sneak out after curfew to go hang around the cemetery. I don't always listen to my parents. So the good boy thing isn't an excuse to why I am the way I am.

I have no excuse. Nothing to live with myself. But I'm can't be a Goth or an emo because I can't stand that type of music nor am I willing to dye my hair because of those harsh chemicals. I don't want to be bald! So here I am. Just Tweek. Bullied, talent less, friendless, trouble maker Tweek. Sucks to be me.

* * *

"Darling can you go out and get us some more cream?" My mother's voice leaked into my room from behind my door. I flinched at the break of silence and got up.

"Now?" I asked cracking my door open.

"Yes sweetie." My mom nodded. I groaned, pretending it was a hassle- but this to me would give me something to do on another lonely Friday night. I mean other than surfing the internet and watching anime.

"Ok." I grumbled closing my door and getting my jacket and my wallet. While I was there I might as well buy some junk food right? One thing I always did have, was money. My dad paid me for helping out in the café and I had an allowance. Not having any friends to go out and spend it with sort of made my savings pile. Is that good or just sad?

I walked out the front door in to the cold night. Snow was falling down softly. I shivered from it more than my nervousness. The cold wind blew as my boots clumped on the ground. Best and worse thing about living in South Park was everything was close yet far. So in ten minutes time I hit main street and in another five minutes I slowly was on my way to the convenience store. I passed by the supermarket. Why? True it was cheaper at the market, but as a mom and pop café kid, I liked to support the small businesses. Even if there was a ominous looking group of teenagers there looking a bit off in front of the store. I pushed right passed them, envying that even though they were probably douches, at least they weren't planning a one man anime junk food fest on their Friday night. I entered the small store noticing a bunch of kids from my school there. All trying to buy cigarettes and liquor. I rolled my eyes and walked slowly to the back to wait for them to leave. Eventually they all got carded, failed to convince the clerk they were of age, and left. I picked up the cream and went to the snack aisle. Normally I don't eat much junk food. Not because I'm counting calories [because frankly I look mal nourished] but because junk food is pretty much synthesized food. It makes me a little scared to eat it. But I got my ass handed to me by Craig today- I needed something to take my mind off it. And excess amounts of sugar and salt should help. I grabbed two small bags of chips, a pack of red vines, gummy bears, gummy worms, chocolate frosted mini donuts, mini muffins, and a large Arizona tea to wash it all down. There. That should do it. Who knows- maybe I'll even gain a pound. I snorted at the thought. I walked up to the counter with my armful of snacks and realized it was my favorite cashier oon duty. I didn't know where he was from, because frankly I've never seen him out of this store- but he was nice to me. And cute. So myday brightened up a bit.

I've never really been openly interested in anyone. At least not in the normal sense. I think I used to have a crush on Bebe when I was in elementary- but so did eveyone else at one point. I know I had a small crush on Wendy in junior high- but I didn't thin too much of it since she was always on again off again with Stan Marsh, who was also kind of cute I guess. So I might've also had a crush on him too in junior high. But all in all my crushes were short, sperficial, and never amounted to anything.

So gender to me didn't really matter. It could be argued that I'm so desperate I would take what I could get- but I like to think I'm simply open minded. For a while I was afraid it was the first one rather than the latter, but after I met Kale I knew I had a thing for guys as well as girls.

"Hey Tweek." Kale smiled flicking his lip piercing. I blushed and noticed I didn't recognize him because he dyed his hair with red streaks.

"H-hey Kale. You- you changed your hair?" I asked shyly.

"Oh you noticed," He self consciously [but clearly flattered] ran a hand through his thick longish black locks. His nose scrunched up making the ring on it twitch a bit, "Yeah I just got it done yesterday. New tattoo too." He grinned pulling his sleeve up and showing a new mark of a star on his wrist.

"C-cool- _nng_." I personally didn't care for body art. Out of jealousy though. I could never even set foot in a tattoo parlor without freaking out at the sight of those needles, but on Kale it looked good.

"What do you think?" He asked referring to his tattoo and his hair.

"You look awesome! I mean- _nng_- you really uh- look good." I could've smacked my head at such a blatant statement. Fuck! My mouth betrayed me a lot. But Kale beamed as he scanned my stuff and put them in a paper bag- he knew plastic wasn't my thing. He clearly was the type that didn't mind being flattered.

"You think so? Thanks. Need a new pack of cloves Tweek?" I smiled. This was the main reason he was my favorite cashier. He was strict and carded everyone- but me. Maybe it was because I frequented here enough to make friends with him, maybe because he liked that I was the only one who didn't call him emo, who knew? Point is, with Kale on the job- I could buy whatever I want. Sometimes he even threw in a freebie here and there. I nodded, having enough money to buy a few packs, actually. He reached behind him and took out a pack of cherry flavored blacks. My kind of cigarette. He also grabbed a few small colored tubes. He turned back around.

"What's- what's-_nng_- that?" I asked looking at the objects I didn't ask for.

"Sweets have a new mini cigar- chocolate flavored and the like. Try em' they're awesome." He winked. He tossed them in my paper bag and rang me up charging me for everything except for the added mini cigars. Another freebie! It made me feel happy.

"Thanks!" I smiled broadly. I never have much reason to smile normally so I was milking this.

"No problem. You should come around more- It always makes my day a little brighter to see that adorable face of yours." He said low leaning his arms on the counter and touched a finger to my cheek. I instantly colored under his touch and held my breath. Was I being flirted with? No- no he was just playing. I laughed nervously twitching a little at the newness of someone other than Craig touching me in a way other than pain inducing.

"Kale?" I asked in a whisper.

"That's right, say my name."

"Kale!" I yelped blushing madly. Kale straightened up and laughed nice and loud. His tongue piercing peeking out from behind his lips.

"I'm just messing with you Tweek, but really. Come see me again soon. I get bored here." He drummed his fingers on the counter and stuck his tongue out at me. I grinned.

"I'll- I'll see what I can- _nng_- do." I hoped that sounded as cool as it did in my head. I waved and turned to smack right into the door. Well- there goes any of the self esteem I had left. I heard Kale laugh and felt hot in the face again. I turned around and saw his laugh wasn't the mocking kind, rather the kind that someone makes when a kitten gets trapped in a ball of yarn. Did he think it was cute?

"Take it easy Tweek." His lips tugged up to a lopsided smile. I blushed and waved again opening the door this time. He waved back and winked. He did think it was cute! Not dorky! Day totally not total shit after all!

I strode confidently down the street playing ridiculous scenarios in my head that Kale actually liked me and asked me out. Yeah right- but a guy can dream. And he did kind of like me- if not at least didn't dislike me- so I was allowed to be happy. I was too busy walking on air to notice the douches from before trailing after me.

"Look at this fag." A voice ripped me from my happy thoughts. I spun my head around to see the small group of guys surrounding me from behind. I walked faster, hoping to get to the busier part of town before they did something other than verbal abuse.

"Right? The way he shakes his skinny ass hips when he walks!" Another commented. I didn't do that! I didn't, right? I held my paper bag to my chest and tried walking as still as possible.

"Look at his blonde hair. All styled and soft like a girl." The last one remarked. Styled? My hair always stuck up like this! It wasn't styled! And I used a lot of conditioner! I wasn't being girly! I was just taking care of my hair!

"And his skin is so pale and soft." Really? I had cuts and fucking scars everywhere! And how would they know if my skin was soft or not! Were they high? Oh wait, they might be. An arm slung around my shoulder making me yelp. I was turned and steered toward an ally way.

Shit!

Shit this was bad!

"Come with us Blondie." They snickered.

Come on!

This was ridiculous!

"I have to- nng- get home!" I cried loudly hoping somebody- anybody would help me. I already had one beating for the day and the busted lip to prove it. I don't want to get wailed on again! I got pushed into the wall and my bag smacked out of my hands. Déjà vu damn it!

"Hang out with us for a while Mr. pretty face." The one that had his arm around me laughed. They were definitely a bunch of assholes. Probably ranging from 18- 20. All dressed in wannabe leather jackets and chains.

"No! Leave me alone!" I tried running past them but got pushed backward making me fall and slamming my head against the brick wall. Ok Ow! That was going to leave a mark. One grabbed my collar and pulled me up, then slammed me back into the wall. I could feel my body grow limp to prepare for the attack. I wasn't as strong as they were. Plus I was outnumbered. Trying to resist the inevitable was a waste of time. I was going to have toclose my eyes and take the beating. I could feel tears prick my eyes. I swear I can't even be happy for ten fucking minutes. Why did life hate me?

"Don't worry- this is going to be fun." I closed my eyes feeling my arms get pinned to my side. My eyes popped open again as a hand pulled on my shirt.

"What are you doing?" I screamed. The one that held me down laughed while his two little side kicks chuckled along with him. His hands popped a button on my shirt making me scream.

"_No_! _Don't__touch__me_!" I squirmed, but I couldn't get away. What _were _they doing? I thought I was a skinny little girly fag? Why would they try to touch me?

"You like dick don't you?" They laughed. No. They were going to- **no**!

Another button was undone and I struggled harder, but, nothing. I was an ugly weak little shit that was about to be violated by a bunch of drunk idiots. I suck! I really suck. I probably deserve this. I shut my eyes again as my shirt was more than half way undone. I felt my body grow limp. Why me?

Suddenly a fist smashed into the guy holding me down. I gasped and stumbled as he was ripped from his grasp on me. He fell to the floor from the force of the hit. The other two gasped as well. Their leader sputtered on the floor tying to get up, blood rained down from his nose. The two lunged for the person the fist was connected to. I couldn't see who it was. But whoever it was, was a hell lot stronger than these guys. Really strong. He [it could've been a she but it's doubtful] threw them off of him with ease. He sent his legs into a series of kicks into the one with brown hair and a nose piercing. Sickening cracks were heard as the guy screamed and coughed up blood. His friend saw this and scrambled up to get away. The guy wasn't very merciful either. He reached out and grabbed the coward's shirt, spinning him around and sending a fist into his stomach making the guy double over. When he did, the vigilante grabbed his head and smash his knee into his face, then let the guy fall with blood coming from his nose and mouth. He went back to the leader and sent a good kick to the guys face, knocking him unconscious. His nose was practically sideways!

Shit.

Mother fucking shit!

Glad this guy was on my side, fighting against him was certainly a death wish. The guy panted and turned around. My blood turned cold and my jaw dropped.

No way.

No

fucking

way!

It can't be.

This isn't possible.

Craig?

Craig Tucker?

Maybe I was knocked out and being molested and this was an unconscious hallucination. Maybe I was drugged and this was a really bad trip. Maybe I was asleep and this was all a dream. Anything seemed more likely than the fact that Craig fucking Tucker ran to my rescue and fought for me. I stared at him [I honestly should've recognized him sooner by the blue sweater and matching chullo].

I was afraid.

So deathly afraid of the very guy who just saved my ass. I couldn't even move or find my voice. He spit on the ground and walked over to me. He stopped and crouched down picking up my paper bag and scooping the fallen contents into it. Was he going to rob me? No. He resumed going over to me and put the bag down on the dumpster next to me. His hands reached for me, making me wince out of habit. He hesitated slightly, his stone cold gaze meeting mine for a second. His eyes looked into mine as if to tell me he wasn't intending on hurting me. Eyes that frightened me every day of my life gave me slight reassurance, for the briefest of moments. Enough for him to get closer again. Then he brought his attention back to my open shirt, reaching for it to rebutton it up. I trembled under his touch but didn't dare move. I didn't think I could. Craig Tucker was fucking helping me back into my shirt. He finished his work then reached to my hair to fix it. Finally he dusted me off and let out another exhale. He took my bag from the dumpster and shoved it against my chest.

"Why?" I choked out finding my voice. He looked into my eyes and narrowed them. I flinched. He parted his lips and spoke in an unforgiving tone,

"Go home." He said simply turning around and walking slowly away. I found my voice again and stepped forward.

"Thank you." I called after him. It was the least I could do. True the guy hated me, true he was usually the one tormenting me, but brain would not process. All I knew was that he saved me from possibly getting molested or raped. And that was at least worth a thank you. He stopped. He stood still for a long time.

"Go home, Tweek." He said again without turning then walked on out of the ally. He knew my name? I looked at my previous attackers sprawled out on the floor. I clutched my bag and obeyed Craig's words.

I ran all the way home.


	2. Golden Boy

[[Infinate Xs and Os to my lovely reviewers! Blackdawn0, OtakuGoCrazy, SparklesMakeMeHappy, AzyumiChan, and those lovely guests who are anons :p. Thank ou for the support and here is chapter two for all of you.

I'm going to try posting a chapter once a week. More if I feel up to it! I'll do my absolute best for you all!

One more thing- I've asked about putting my stories on tumblr just in case and enough people said I should so I did- check it out. all my stories are up there so if any of them disapears- there they will be; www . tumblr blog/ lucy-sinclair]]

To say the gravity of what happened started weighing down on me now that I was in the safety of my room, would be an understatement. It crushed me- _obliterated _me. I mean my goodness.

I was almost fucking raped!

Craig fucking Tucker saved me.

He saved me.

_Craig Tucker _saved _me_!

Was there a reason why those words didn't sound right?

Was that really Craig? It looked like him. It was him. I'd recognize that hat anywhere! I curled up in my blankets not even bothering to resume my stupid plans for the evening.

I think what wracked my brain wasn't the fact I was attacked or that Craig saved me- it was more; Why _did _Craig Tucker save me? Didn't he hate me? Wasn't he like, my bully or something? Last time I checked bullies don't go around saving their victims. I'm not pegging him for some kind of snarling monster, but didn't it make more sense to let the guy you hate get whatever misfortunes come his way? I don't know. I wrapped the blankets tighter around me, getting into my cocoon of safety. It hurt my head to think about it. Guess I should be grateful he gave a shit and helped me, and be done with it. It is not important what his motives were.

Still bugged me though.

* * *

The next day I was woken up early to go work at my father's shop. I disliked it greatly. I mean just because I like coffee doesn't mean I want to work at a coffee café. I hate standing around taking people's orders and I hated waiting tables since my mother added the café part, making a food menu of sweets and sandwiches. Thankfully I was given the good grace of being appointed drink maker. Which I hated as well, but at least I didn't need to deal with people. Just their drinks. I was good at making drinks, but it wasn't something I was proud of doing there. Real cups of coffee yes, but to keep up with today's youth, my father finally added more "variety" of drinks to the menu. So in the back I was to drown out coffee in milk, chocolate, cream, and other equally heart breaking substances.

"Tweek, son, I need you to wait tables today." My father said putting his apron on. I spun around from the machine.

"What?"

"That's why I called you in here today. Margo is sick and I need someone to go wait tables.'

"Dad! N-no! I hate that!"

"Come on now Tweek- I'll pay you for both jobs today," My father pleaded. Like money could bribe me.

"I-I-I don't want to!" I twitched.

"But son, to spread the joys of coffee has always been the Tweak's mission on life. Why coffee is the foundation of-"

"Alright! Alright! I'll- erk- do it! Just no more coffee speeches!" I moaned grabbing the black apron with a notepad in the pocket. As much as I hated waiting tables, I did not feel like having another lecture from father. The metaphors man. Jesus. I loved my parents as much as the next kid but my father was bizarre and my mother was jaded. A good match I guess but it gave me hell.

I ran out to the front and saw an elderly couple sitting at one of the small little tables.

"W-Welcome to Tweek Brothers Café, how may I help you?" I sniffed and held my pad and pen out.

"Well hello young man how are you this morning?" The old man asked. I bit my lip.

_Well I almost got raped yesterday and still had to wake up early for work. So I'm just dandy. How are you?_

I don't want to be rude but this is exactly the reason why I hate waiting tables! Everyone wants to talk to you! I don't care about their personal lives and they should stay out of mine! I mean who the hell is he to ask me that?

"F-fine. C-can I take your order?" I hate the food industry's policy of politeness. But I had to keep face.

"Well two coffees and two éclairs." I scribbled in my untidy scrawl on the pad of paper.

"A-anything else?" I felt my eye twitch. Fucking damn it! I was sure I took my pills for today. The twitching was starting already?

"No that will be all young man." I couldn't help but feel this conversation took longer than it could have.

"I'll be right back." I walked to the little window and handed my father the paper. I don't know how but my dad could understand my shorthand. My father got it all out on a small tray. I took it and tried to hold it steady. Why does he make me do this? I'm horribly clumsy. I made it to the table and got a thank you, but I disappeared before they could say anything else.

The morning pretty much went like this. Getting progressively busier. I guess all things considered it wasn't as bad as it could've been. No one ordered anything complicated and I was able to get everything from the kitchen to the table. I even got some decent tips.

"Order for table three." My dad rung his little bell. I grabbed the tray and smiled. It was only a small coffee, so I probably wasn't going to spill!

"Hey dudes, you guys want to grab a bite here or just coffee?"

"I wanted to go to Harbucks!"

"Same shit fat ass! It's cheaper here!"

"Shut up Jew! Leave it to a Jew to worry about money before quality."

"The coffee is just as good Cartman." Sounded like Stan's gang.

"Why again did we decide to have coffee with the Marsh gang, Craig?" I turned my head sharply and blanched. Craig's gang was with them. Craig was standing off to the side with his hands in his pockets. His eyes slowly turned to mine as if he could feel my gaze on him. Oh Jesus Christ! Fear pulsed through me and went all the way down to my legs. I tripped over my feet and fell, sending stuff on the tray in my hands flying forward. I heard a crash. No! I broke a mug! I stayed flat on my face. Ow. That fucking hurt! My whole body ached with pain. But it wasn't like that wasn't something I was used to- so I took in in stride.

Well, there goes my morning.

I felt a hand on my back and flinched at the touch.

"Oh my god. Tweek are you ok?" I raised my head. Kenny McCormick crouched down with his hood down. Damn Kenny. He was an attractive blond. He turned from a goofy looking kid to one of the most sought after guys in school. Golden blond hair and crystal blue eyes. I turned from a goofy looking kid to a goofy looking teenager. Yellow hair and dog blue eyes. _That's fair_. I didn't dislike Kenny- I'm just naturally bitter he turned out so popular and handsome. Kenny was actually nice to me though, so it was kinda wrong I despised his luck.

"I-I'm fine." I grumbled feeling a scrape from where my face landed on the corner of the tray. Great- that was going to leave a mark. Another to the collection.

"Is he okay Kenny?" I could hear Kyle's voice approaching. Since when did they all care? I saw a hand in front of my face. I sniffed again and took it, getting almost carried into the air at the strength. Jesus, who was that? Stan? He was a football player. My eyes widened when I rose to come face to face with Craig Tucker. I yelped and stumbled away from him. I slipped backward but was caught by Kenny.

"Well Tweek if you wanted to get in my arms, all you had to do was ask." I twitched and felt a blush creep on my face. Kenny is a natural flirt. But it was still embarrassing when he flirted with you.

"Keep it in your pants Ken." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"But it just needs to be free!" Kenny wrapped his arms around my stomach to give me a squeeze before he straightened me up. I blushed but couldn't be helped to be really all that embarrassed with Craig so close. I didn't think he'd hurt me here but I kept an eye on him with my peripheral vision, you can never be too careful. He simply glared. Stan came up behind Craig to offer the tray and broken mug on top of it t me.

"Y-you didn't have to- You didn't cut yourself did you!" Oh god- if a customer cut himself then father would have a fit!

"Dude it's fine. No damage but the mug," Stan shrugged then looked closer, "And your cheek apparently." I felt a drip run down my cheek. Blood. Blood doesn't scare me anymore- I've had too many bloody noses and scrapes to let it freak me out that much.

"Oh." I wiped my face looking at the blood on my hand. Shit. Now I needed to go sanitize my hands.

"Hey! Aren't we the customers over here?" Cartman yelled. I had no idea how this guy was the one that wasn't teased. Probably because he stuck to his old posse like glue.

"I want to eat!" Clyde agreed with Cartman. Token was as silent as Craig but at least his expression wasn't cold and scary- Token just kind of supervised. He was way more mature than anyone in our grade. Maybe it was a rich people thing, I don't know.

"Sorry! I- uh- J-just give me a minute-" I should get rid of the broken mug first and find something to clean the mess with- not to mention myself.

"Come on guys let's go. This place sucks." Cartman grumbled.

"We're eating here." A voice finally spoke up. Everyone hushed up and looked to Craig. Cartman scoffed.

"I don't want to-"

"We're. Eating. Here." He said again in exactly the same way he said it before, just slower. No body argued. Well shit. I guess god has spoken. That's really, really creepy.

"Guess that means we need a table." Kenny's bright voice broke the mood. They all started joking and talking again as if Craig had never said anything and them eating there had been the plan all along.

"Ok- uh- let me just-"

"We can find our own table Tweek." Kenny smiled, "And of course with fat ass being a landmark, I'm sure you can find us. Go do what you have to." He winked making me gulp. Kenny was being way too nice to me. How fucked up am I that I took anyone being nice to me as an omen?

**OoOo**

Tweek disappeared into the back as the boys made their way to a table. Kenny hung back and swept a hand through his dirty blonde hair that drove all the girls wild. Finally when Craig was walking at his steady pace past him, he walked forward with him.

"So Craig, didn't know you liked eating here." Kenny gave an all knowing smirk that was seen by girls as charismatic and charming. To guys- especially to the young Tucker- it was more of a look that said- "I'm a smartass- hit me." But Craig wasn't the type to start throwing punches at who could be considered a friend. After all Kenny was his connection. Never punch your dealer.

"You don't really know me." Craig said simply.

"Maybe not. But hey- that Tweek kid looks kind of hot- no?" Kenny put an arm around Craig.

"One- if you value your arm you probably might want to get it away from me. Two- I'm no queer, fag." Kenny chucked but heeded Craig's warning about his arm- he jacked off with that arm after all.

"Hey I'm not either. I like both. I mean why have one when you can have it all?" Craig grunted. Kenny scratched his head in contemplation.

"Well- I think Tweek looks hot. Don't know why I've never noticed before. He screams virgin though. And those are normally the kind I don't like dealing with. Kid looks like he'd be willing though. I mean he clearly likes dick- don't give me that look- I have a very good gaydar. What do you think? Should I take him?" He eyed Craig as if looking for something. Craig merely shrugged.

"Like I care who you whore yourself out to, or the sexuality of the skinny little freak. I would think Stan or maybe Kyle- hell- even fat ass would care about what you have to say more than I do. So why the hell are you talking to me?"

" I think I'm going to fuck Tweek. Just thought I'd share." Kenny skipped away to the table of rowdy teenagers ahead of Craig, who merely glared at the back of the blonde's head.

**OoOo**

I fixed myself and the mess in record time. I had been doing this for a while after all. Cleaning myself and everything I destroyed, I mean- it was a constant occurrence. With that I ran back out to fulfill my waiter duties. Thankfully [or not] Stan's group was the only one who was waiting to be served. I took out my pad and pen and ran to their table. They all kept talking. I cleared my throat timidly.

"W-what can I get you guys?" I asked hesitantly. I hated that these guys intimidated me. I hated being so shy. I just- I just hated everything about it. Cartman was the first to speak- surprise surprise.

"Ok Squeak-"

"It's Tweek." Kyle paused his conversation to snap at Cartman. Though I couldn't help but feel he did it more for the sake of snapping at Cartman than the fact that he actually gave a shit what my name was.

"Shut it Jew! Squeak-" He gave Kyle a smirk, " I want a vente Cafe mocha-"

"We don't use those stupid Harbucks sizes." I blurted out. Shit. I didn't mean to say that. Everyone around the table hushed their conversations to keep an ear on us. Cartman paused and eyed me angrily.

"They're classy. Not like a dump like this would know class." I felt my hands clench up. I hated working here- but this was still my parent's shop- their pride and joy. And I never liked Cartman. So having him insult my parent's shop bugged me.

"Vente- is play on words made for retarded people to use to think they sound sophisticated, so they don't realize how stupid they actually are when they pay five dollars for a cup of coffee that they could get elsewhere cheaper and for better quality." I clutched my paper not believing I fucking even said that to a customer- let alone to Eric Cartman of all people. I was so fucked. Too late to do anything about it now. Cartman stared me down, but I kept my feet firmly planted to the floor. I wasn't going to humiliate myself even more by submitting to him. Everyone was quiet. Shit- what were they going to do? I insulted a member of their group! Like I needed for all of them to be on my case! Craig was more than enough! Suddenly Kenny let out a rather loud laugh of amusement.

"I knew there was a fucking reason this guy used to be in our group." Stan laughed along with Kenny. Kyle joined in and soon the whole table minus Cartman and Craig started laughing. But Craig did crack an amused grin. I stood there not really sure what was going on, but it was clear they weren't going to kill me. I should've known they couldn't care less if Cartman was the one getting insulted. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Dude just give us all plain coffee and donuts." Stan wiped tears from his eyes.

"But I wanted a piece of cake!" Clyde whined.

"Shut up tubby." Craig said stoically. I backed off and ran back to the kitchen before they changed their mind. These guys were weird. Oh well. My dad fixed up the order in a second due to it's simplicity. Though personally I wouldn't have minded to be away from them for another few minutes. Oh well- like I get anything I want anyway. I took the tray carefully and walked back to their table. I set it down and sighed. I made it.

"Six coffees and six doughnuts." I said quietly. They all grabbed their mugs and fought over the sugar and creamer. I took the empty tray back and asked if anyone needed anything else. I don't think they heard me- but that was fine with me, so I slowly began to back away. Suddenly someone grabbed my wrist. I snapped my head in the direction of the person who had my wrist. Kenny. Dude was just on my case today, wasn't he?

"Hey Tweek. We're going to Stark Pond tonight for some vandalism and a few laughs. Care to make an appearance?" Kenny's eyes flashed with excitement. Seriously? _They _were inviting _me _to hang out with them? I couldn't help but be skeptical.

"W-why?" It was rude- but come on. These guys were pretty popular. Everyone liked them and wanted to hang out with them. But they had their tight click and that was that. The only ones they mingled with from time to time was with Craig's gang. Sure, I was apart of it for a time but that was the fourth grade. The friendship ties are dead. Why all of a sudden? That was so suspicious.

"Because I'm inviting you and I think you should come." Kenny said simply moving his thumb across my arm and licked his lips. I flinched slightly at the contact. Was Kenny McCormick coming on to me? My cheeks became dusted with a blush as our gazes became locked. Sure Kenny was a slut- but he had standards. He only fucked those of quality like Bebe, Red, and I'm pretty sure Gregory. This wasn't even a quarter of them though. So what was he doing openly flirting with me like that? I was not his regular. I wasn't his anything!

"I don't know." It's kind of embarrassing how my stomach jumped like a child being told a trip to Disneyland was in their immediate future. I was a shut in- like seriously my plan for this Saturday night was to dip into the snacks that I couldn't yesterday. Getting invited to go do something with a bunch of guys my own age- well now that made me sound like I wasn't a complete loser.

"Come on Tweek- It'll be awesome. I'll even give you a freebee."

"A what!"

"Some weed, or are you a straight edge?" He cocked a brow that told me it wouldn't matter what my answer was, that I'd no longer be one if I was.

"N-no I smoke sometimes." I admitted. His lips curled.

"Brilliant. We'll come get you around seven. Be ready or I'll drag you out whether or not you're clothed." He smirked again and gave my arm a squeeze.

"B-but you don't have my number or anything."

"I was going to come to the door- but if you insist-" I inhaled sharply as he yanked me forward. Hands digging into my pockets. Wow- I think I just got felt up! He pulled my cell phone out of my front pocket and started punching in some numbers.

_Dirty babe You see these shackles Baby I'm your slave I'll let you whip me if I misbehave_-

Kenny dug his own phone from his pocket and clicked it off.

"Sexy Back?" I asked with a smile of my face that I couldn't help. That song was my guilty pleasure. Kenny wagged his brows and smirked.

"I'm totally bringing sexy back- don't you think so Tweek?" I gasped as his hands ran up my arm and pulled me forward. His hands placed my cell phone back where he found it. My cheeks lit on fire at his stupid good looks. His eyes were raking over my body- was I being checked out? Oh god! I never been checked out before! Especially by someone like Kenny. Suddenly a sugar packet was flicked at his head. Kenny let go and looked back, "Hey!"

"Stop fagging up the place, McCormick." Craig's voice was still flat and low- but it projected all the way here. His eyes flicked toward me and I looked down immediately. No eye contact- bullied rule number one.

"Yeah Kenny- you're ruining my appetite." Cartman added in. Kenny rolled his eyes.

"Nothing ruins your appetite you fucking fat ass." Kenny spat his tongue out. I bit my lip and slowly backed away. I didn't want to stick around anymore.

"I'm not fat. I'm buff poor boy!" Cartman screamed. I was nearly back safely in the kitchen when Kenny shouted behind me again.

"Don't forget Tweek! Seven!" I turned around and nodded before fleeing into my safe haven.


	3. Teenage Dream

**[[Sorry for the late update, i got sick and had net issues. No excuses I know but what can ya do? Hope you enjoy the chapter. Sorry if it's a little obscure and slow pacing- the start alway is. I'm gong to try to add bulk to these chapters I promise. Bear with me! And let me know if I should just pull the plug- this story is differnt than what I've put out so I got the nervous bug. Sorry. Thank you for the spport and reviews. Enjoy :3]]**

Seven.

Tonight at seven.

This was either something really awesome- or complete bullshit.

What are the chances that Stan, Kyle, and Kenny want to hang out with me? For that matter- why now? Just yesterday I was Tweek Tweak. The class nobody, who had no friends and was harassed. I don't get how one day could be like every other day- and now suddenly I'm being noticed. Getting asked to hang out.

Nothing made sense anymore.

There was no way that this wasn't some kind of sick joke. So I guess the question is do I let myself fall for it out of hope- or skip it without giving them the laugh.

It was already five. Two hours left until I needed to decide.

I needed a slurpee.

And thankfully the convenience store had those. I made for the door and went in; hoping Kale would be there for a quick chat before I went home for the day.

"Look kid- I don't care what that ID says- I've seen you around the high school and there's no damn way that you're eighteen. So take off before I report you." Well that was Kale's voice.

"I'm a fucking paying customer with a valid ID so I fucking demand to be given my god damned cigarettes." And that voice-

Craig! Jesus Christ! Why was I constantly running into him! I ducked down behind an aisle and watched him and Kale battle it out.

"I'm only going to tell you once again- get out of my store before I called the cops." Call the cops on Craig? Ha- that would be something to see. But- wait. Craig bailed me out of that mess yesterday. But I wasn't trying to break the law. A ping in my stomach told me I was indebted to him. I think if I went over there and said something to Kale- he'd back off. Oh god- what do I do? I still didn't like Craig- at all. But- he saved me.

"Fuck off emo boy."

"That's it- I'm confiscating this and calling the cops." Crap.

"K-kale." I called with a smile, not believing what I was about to do. Kale's smile instantly came back.

"Hey Tweek, back already?" He grinned. Craig looked from me to him with a perplexed look on his face.

"Y-yeah. Oh- h-hi Craig." Craig raised a brow at me. I bit my lip and looked down, my heart hammering in my chest. Kale raised a brow too.

"You know him?"

"Y-yeah. Friend of mine." I forced a smile, the words coming from my mouth even tasted bad from the bitter lie, "T-there a problem? I heard yelling-"

"No. I guess not." Kale looked at the ID again and slowly turned around to get a box from the display behind him. I dug my nails into my arm to calm down from having Craig so close. Fear pulsed through me, scolding me from letting Craig too close to me. I kept my breathing even. I don't know why I did it- I never had before- but I flicked my eyes up to Craig's face. I was always looking down whenever he was near- but I actually looked at his face. And I was greeted by his cold stare. Oh shit, he was going to hit me! But he didn't. I guess he wouldn't- not here. He just stared then went back to the register when Kale returned.

"Ok that's six thirty. Thank you." The transaction was made with no more dialogue before Craig walked out.

"No offense Tweek but your friend is kind of a jerk." Kale piped up as the door closed. I returned my focus back to Kale, stomach knotting a little in the good way now that Craig was gone.

"S-sorry." I mumbled.

"Nah it's cool. It's nice to see you back here so fast." He grinned. I felt myself blush and looked away, "What can I get for you?"

"I'm just here for a slurpee." I walked off getting just that and returned shortly after.

"Cool. So- any plans for this Saturday evening." I realized for once I actually had a response for that that didn't involve me trying to say no without making an excuse.

"I- I'm going to hang out with s-some guys from school." Well that sounded weird to say.

"Oh? Didn't know you liked orgies."

"Kale!" I yelped again, knowing that he was teasing but feeling embarrassed all the same.

"God- teasing you is so much fun. Alright- that'll be a dollar fifty." I smiled back at him and handed him the money, "You know it be cool if we hung out sometime." I gulped. Did he really mean that? Was he just being nice? Oh god- say something!

"Y-yeah. It would be- uh- cool. That is- yeah." Smooth. Kale just laughed and handed me my change.

"Let me know when you're free doll." He winked before sending me on my way. I laughed stupidly all the way out the store and began walking the way to home.

It totally wasn't me right? Kale had a thing for me, didn't he? If he did then what would I do! It was a lot of pressure- but good kind of pressure. I made me happier than the thought of hanging out with Stan's gang- provided that was actually real.

"Hey," A familiar voice called out to me and made my blood run cold. I froze and almost dropped my drink. All my happiness left me. I turned around to face him- Craig. Why was he still here? I thought he'd be gone by now. I backed away as he reached for me, yanking me by my shirt down the alleyway, and pushed me to the wall. I yelped and dropped my drink to put my hands in front of my face, " Calm the fuck down- what was that about in there?" He demanded. It seemed as though he wasn't going to do anything to me at the moment. So I slowly lowered my hands, but kept my eyes down- not daring to look up.

"I- I- I was just trying to- I- I still-"

"Spit it out." He growled. I could feel my body want to shut down. But who knows what would happen if I did that.

"I was just- _I owed you_!" I yelled out, finally saying it, "I- I owed you for yesterday so- I thought- I know that cashier so- I-" Craig's fingers slipped from the collar of my shirt.

"Oh. Ok then." He said slowly. He went down and picked up my drink, shoving it against my chest like he did to my bag last night. He backed off and then just went up and left me alone yet again in the ally.

What was that just now? Did he really need to bother with this? Did this mean he wasn't going to hit me anymore? All these encounters were just- bizarre. I'm not quite sure what to make of them. But like before- it's probably just best not to question it. Besides, I have some other things to worry about.

* * *

I don't know why I was sitting on my bed all dressed up and ready to go out. They weren't gong to come. Yet here I was waiting like an idiot in my jeans and black button down I got months ago that was never used. I was even in my green hoodie- my 'cool' one I never used. Fuck- why was I doing this to myself? They weren't coming. They never were going to! It was a sick joke like always. No one wanted to hang out with me. Why would I think otherwise?

"Tweek- you're friend is here." My mother's voice called but was drowned out by someone bursting in my room. I gasped as Kenny came in and looked around. He was in some faded jeans with a hole that the whole knee poked out through. And of course an orange hoodie with the hood up that covered his blond hair.

"Hey Tweek- glad to see you're ready. Come on." He reached for my arm and yanked me toward him. He wasn't kidding when he said he was coming to get me. He actually came in and got me. I was dragged like a rag doll all the way down the stairs, Kenny still gripping my wrist like I was some kind of child.

"Going out sweetie?" My mother asked curled up on the couch with a book. Kenny smirked and nodded.

"He is. I'll take good care of him. And bring him back at a reasonable hour, Miss Tweak." He said sweetly, tugging my waist forward and wrapping his arms around it. I yelped. What was he doing! He was going to give my mother the wrong idea. My mother gave me a tired smile and nodded.

"Oh you're such a gentleman. Alright. Have fun." She didn't even bat an eye at us- that compromising position! Did she care how gay that looked? I wasn't officially out so was this a sign that she knew? Or was she just not surprised? Wait- How did I feel about that? Kenny bowed and pulled me again out the door. He led me all the way to the familiar Marsh truck.

"Finally Kenny, jeeze." Stan rolled his eyes and started up his car. I bit my lip- were we too long? Did that mean they were mad at us! At me?

"Yeah- what were you doing in there?"

"I had a quickie with Tweek." The blond said nonchalantly. What! Oh my god!

"K-Kenny!" I blushed as Kenny opened the door to climb in.

"Figures. Can you last ten minutes without fucking something?" Kyle rolled his eyes. Did they really think- it wasn't true!

"I was just giving you and Stan some quality time to fuck before the party." Kenny said without missing a beat. I hoped they were teasing each other. This was too much pressure! He turned around and yanked me up into the giant car.

"We aren't gay you dickwad!" Kyle yelled angrily, turning red like his hair. Ok I think I get it- they were all teasing each other. Duh. Come on Tweek- calm down.

"Gay, straight, retarded- don't mean anything when it comes to love and lust and I _know _you two want to bang."

"You-"

"Let it go Ky- he always makes those jokes." Stan said casually as he backed out of my driveway and started driving the direction towards Stark Pound.

"Whatever." Kyle grumbled, "Hey Tweek, how's it going?" I twitched at finally being noticed.

"Uh- Ah! Uh- fine. I- I- I'm ok." I dug my nails into my knees for being so awkward. Come on Tweek! Relax!

"Whoa. You need to relax dude. Kenny- pack it." Pack it? Pack what?

"Going to get him all nice and loose so you can bang him?" Kenny snickered reaching into his pocket.

"Up yours- that's your plan!" Kyle defended. Stan laughed and Kenny snickered.

"Ky- you've ruined the surprise!"

"W-what!" What the fuck was going on! I was hardly keeping up with all the fighting and wise cracks! Kenny wagged his brows at me then took out a small glass pipe and a canister. Oh. Stan meant that.

"Roll up the windows Stan. Let's hotbox your car." Kenny shouted opening his canister and letting the skunk smell fill the car.

"No way dude- I think my mom can smell it under the fabreeze." Stan looked back quickly then back to the road.

"You're just being paranoid." Kyle poked Stan in the ribs, making him jerk violently. The car swerved and it took all of me not to scream out loud.

"Ky! Not while I'm driving!"

"No sex until the vehicle has come to a complete stop." Kenny commented while he finished packing the bowl. The two in front just sighed, annoyed. His eyes went to me, making me flinch again. It had been so fascinating watching normal teens act that I almost forgot I was actually there and not invisible and merely observing.

"Want to do the honors Mr. Tweak." Kenny lifted the packed bowl to me. I suddenly felt on the spot. Kyle and Kenny were staring at me. Even Stan would flick his eyes from me to the road through his review mirror. Jesus Christ! I liked it better when I was a spectator! No- come on Tweek- you smoke already! Why the fuck are you intimidated? For once in your life be cool and just do it.

"S-sure." I took the pipe and took my own lighter from my pocket. Kenny lifted his brows, looking slightly impressed. I burned the spout to sanitize it a bit then brought the pipe to my lips to light up. I inhaled deeply, holding it in my lungs for a little while- then ghosted it out.

"Shit dude! Tweek just ghosted it!" Kyle smirked, "You can't even do that Stan!"

"Whatever." Stan grumbled but then smiled, "good one Tweek."

"That was nice." Kenny joined in. A stupid smile spread on my face as they all exchanged impressed glances. I felt a little more confident. I passed the pipe to Kenny who took some then passed it to Kyle, who held it and lit it for Stan- it was almost cute. Kenny voiced that notion out loud while I kept it to myself.

We all passed the pipe around until there was nothing but ash left in the pipe. Kenny tossed the excess out the window and rolled it back up in the cloth.

"We'll save the rest for later. Want a smoke Tweek?" Kenny dug out a pack of cigarettes. I shook my head.

"I- I'm good man."

"Oh my god- Hey Kyle- Tweek smokes your brand." Kyle spun around.

"I don't smoke Kenny, only occasionally Mr. pack a day."

"That's two packs bitch."

"Can I bum one off you Tweek? Kenny won't buy me more unless I kiss him."

"That price was lowered from a fuck and a bj- you should be grateful."

"Fuck off." I smiled and got out one.

"S-sure. Here." Kyle smiled and thanked me, taking one. I think I was actually starting to win their favor. Was this maybe going to be a regular thing? Would they be my new friends?

Oh god I sound desperate and pathetic.

"So Tweek, how're you doing on the paper in English?" Kyle lit up and asked me while exhaling out the window. I was a bit surprised he remembered I was in his English class, I always sat in the back.

"Ok- I'm almost done." That wasn't entirely true- I was done. I finished it in the week it was assigned. I had honestly nothing better to do.

"Me too. I'm adding a few more paragraphs to my conclusion- it's a little weak to me. But I think it should be done by Monday."

"Nerd alert." Stan grinned from his chair.

"Passing alert, Mr. D minus." Stan pouted and we all laughed. I actually felt like I belonged there. This was shaping to be a good night I hoped.

**[[Ps- I meant to adress this in the last chapter but I got some reviews telling me the first chapter was a little graphic and disturbing with the whole attack tweek had with those boys. And I'm definately sorry if that offended anyone in any way. I did not mean to upset anyone. Though I'd like to point ot that this is a rated M fic so it's fair game to adult themes. That probably makes me sound like a bitch and insensitive at that- but I don't think I've ever put why any of my fics are rated M and just thought that the fact that they were rated M was enough. And I suppose that was my reasoning not to pt a warning. So again if I offended you before- I am very sorry. ]]**


	4. So Nice So Smart

**[[Gah! I'm sorry this is so short! And late! Truth be told this story has me stuck and I rewrote it twice. I'm hoping I can keep this going but it's much harder than I though it would be. Thank you so much for the feedback and the encouragement :) I hope this version of this chapter is written alright. Let me know how I did. I'm getting more ideas as the story progresses but its slow. I promise I will get you more meater capters when I dig into it. I'm not giving up on it! I love you all. Please enjoy the chapter :)]]**

It was another cold Saturday night and the boys all lounged around Token Black's house, trying to figure out what to do once again.

"Let's go get drinks at the bar!" Clyde Donovan, the self proclaimed comedic genius spoke as if he had an epiphany.

"Dude- all our dads are probably there. And the bar tender knows we're not over twenty-one." Token Black himself, the usually more mature one of the bunch, reminded his friend for the billionth time.

"Oh- right. Well- how about we drive to Denver then?"

"Can't. Too late to make it back by curfew and my dad still has the keys to the Lincoln. And I'll be grounded from now until graduation if I take the Bentley. And god knows Craig's old ford isn't going anywhere out of South Park." A grunt escaped the blue lump that was sunk in one of Token's enormous bean bag chairs that fit the atmosphere of his game room.

"We can take my grandma's car. She probably won't even know its gone."

"I'll sooner take the bus than be seen in a Volvo."

"What's wrong with a Volvo!?"

"Last time you showed up in that thing all the girls started talking about Twilight. I don't care how hot the girl is- once she reveals herself as a Twihard- it's a deal breaker."

"I don't know- the vampire fetish is hot on a girl- makes them kinky."

"You're retarded."

"Can you two shut up?" Craig finally spoke up, getting up properly from his position upside down, " We're not going to Denver and we're not taking Clyde's piece of shit car."

"Hey!"

"Alight then- what are we doing?" Token looked back at his friend in a bit of annoyance and curiosity. Craig usually okayed the plan or picked it. And everyone went along with it. It was never questioned, nor did the young Black cared too much about it- it's just that he wanted the night to progress along before they decide to drink up his parent's liquor again.

"Wasn't Marsh's group going to Stark Pond?"

"We already ate with them in the morning. Are we going to spend our whole Saturday with them now?" Clyde piped up with a little bit of a whine. Craig gave Clyde a look that shut him up nicely. Token merely stared at his friend in a calculating way.

"Well- they're probably going to have booze and weed. Since Kenny's there and everything." Clyde immediately changed his attitude.

"Oh right! That's good thinking! We should go and crash it since the last time they came here and bummed from us!" Clyde jumped up and started toward the stairs. He paused and turned around, "Are we going or not?" Token and Craig were exchanging glances. Token smiled reassuringly and rose.

"I'm down. It was my booze they drank after all." With that the boy in the chullo hat got up as well and went for the stairs.

"Alright- to Stark's Pond we go.

* * *

**[Tweek]**

I was feeling so much lighter when we hit Stark's pond. Truth be told I did smoke- just not very frequently since I didn't know anyone who could hook me up. So even though we all shared a bowl- I couldn't help but feel a little frazzled, yet oddly calm.

Nevertheless Stan parked his car by the forest of trees before we all piled out and went towards the pond. The only thing that had changed about this place over the years was there were a few fire pits and logs surrounding them since it became a hotspot for the local teenagers. Other than that it had hardly changed, like everything else in South Park.

"This is going to be so fucking sweet!" Kenny cheered getting right to the fire pit. Stan and Kyle took out some plastic bags from the bed of the truck and were right behind him. I followed, not really feeling too part of the crowd anymore- I mean- wasn't I kind of out of place? Or maybe it was just a thought since they all seemed to know what they were doing and I was just following like a little stray. But I guess I was kind of like that. Was that necessarily bad? It could be good right? Who knows. I can't really think about it too clearly right now.

"Hey Ky- let me hold that bag." Stan broke the silence and conversation in my head by trying to make a grab for the bag Kyle had in his hands. Kyle stepped away while still walking.

"Dude- I can fucking carry a bag. Just because I'm not a jock doesn't mean I can't carry a couple bottles of liquor." Kyle sounded annoyed. Actually- it wasn't super annoyed like how he got with Cartman or even Kenny- it was like- a muted version of Kyle being annoyed. Did that make sense? Fuck this weed.

"I was just trying to-"

"Stop it ok- Kenny." Kyle hissed and nudged his head towards boy laughing around the pit. I raised a brow at the interaction. That was very- weird. Even under the influence if felt like it should be weird. But it wasn't something to overanalyze I guess. I mean they weren't really my friends. Whatever they had going on really isn't any of my business.

"Hey Tweek, get your fine ass over here and help me!" Kenny called out to me. A laugh bubbled out of my throat with the sound of Kenny's voice mixed with his stupid playful flirting. Being acknowledged seemed to calm me down and that familiar warmth washed over me a little more once again. I felt tons more relaxed again. Hopefully that meant I was getting the good effects now. Or my bi polar pill lost its effect. Whatever.

"Ok." I walked over to him and the pit that was already loaded with logs and some newspapers.

"Light this bitch." Kenny instructed fumbling around in his pocket, "I can't seem to find my lighter. Where is that little fucker." I laughed again as I whipped my lighter out and started lighting the paper he mixed with the wood. I laughed harder as another wave of heat hit me, though I wasn't sure if it was from the flames I created or the flames bubbling inside. Wow- this stuff was strong. Kenny looked up at me.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" he said with a grin, clearly enjoying how the weed affected me.

"You- you look like you're frisking yourself!" I choked out between fits of laughter. And it was true. Kenny's hands were all over his body like he was copping a feel of himself and Jesus Christ did that make me laugh. I hid my mouth behind my hands to try to hide it. I never liked laughing too hard in front of people. It made me feel weird because I was the only one usually laughing. I was afraid people would think I'm a freak. But I couldn't help it this time. Kenny kept roaming his hands all over his body like he was doing some sort of strip tease minus the stripping. I couldn't help but find this funny. I laughed and laughed. Oh god they probably thought I was a creepy little freak.

"Jesus Tweek- you're gone." Kenny laughed with me too and sat me down on a log, "But I guess you're right." He started touching himself again and made me laugh more. This time a little in relief too. It was nice of Kenny to keep being- well- nice to me. Stan and Kyle sat across from us, putting all the bags down.

"That's public indecency Ken." Kyle snickered. I felt my lips smile too with the knowledge that I wasn't the only one who found that funny.

"Your face is public indecency!" Kenny snapped, still laughing. That was such a lame joke- but we all laughed anyway- except for Kyle. But he still had a grin he was trying to control.

"Your insults are shit."

"Your face is shit." Kyle groaned and just face palmed at Kenny's new form of insulting.

"There's no talking to him when he's high dude." Stan shook up Kyle's hair and it seemed to actually calm him down a little.

"Dude- pass the MD." Kenny held out his hand. Stan weeded through the bags and produced a light blue bottle, "Want some Tweek?" I stared at the bottle. I never really drank all that much before. And certainly not- whatever the fuck that was. But- what the hell?

"Ok." I took the bottle and drank some. I winced at the taste. Alcohol, no matter what they do to it, always had a stinging taste to it. I put the bottle down, and saw Kenny take hold of it. He downed some too. I looked across the fire and saw Kyle and Stan drinking from another bottle.

"So uh- you guys come here often?" I asked to start up some kind of conversation. Though now that I heard it out loud, I kind of sounded like I was trying to pick someone up. Good one Tweek. Oh well.

"Yeah- Kyle gets all stressed with school so we got to come down here to unwind his tight ass." Stan snickered. Good- no one noticed my awkward wording. Kyle swatted him and took his hat, tossing it across the way, "Kyle!" Stan's black hair was all messy as he covered his head and went right after it. I watched a bit surprised with how he looked without one. He usually kept some kind of hat on. Be it helmet, baseball cap, or his little red puffball hat.

A shudder pulsed through me involuntarily He kind of looked like Craig, except- Craig's eyes could never be that kind of gentle. Stan's eyes were a soft muted blue while Craig's were piercing and frightening shade of blue. So dark they was nearly indigo. Eyes that were so frightening that they even glinted right before he was about to barrel his fist right across your-

Oh come on Tweek- don't think about him. You're here to have fun!

"So Kyle has a tight ass?" Kenny grinned, "How'd you find that out Stanley?"

"Tweek- hit Kenny for me!" Kyle spat his tongue out. I gasped and looked at Kenny. Did he really want me to-, "Seriously- do it!" No way man! I'm not high enough to try and hit Kenny! What if I hit him too hard and he gets mad?

"Yeah Tweek- hit me." Kenny smirked and looked at me with his crystallized blue eyes. I gulped at his gaze.

"No way man- you look like you might eat me if I do!"

"We'll protect you if he does." Stan said sitting back down and putting his hat on his head.

"Do it Tweek- I won't bite- much." He leaning in taking a snap at the air by my face. Jesus Christ! I squeaked and pushed him. Kenny fell back and right off the log with a yelp. Stan and Kyle broke into fits of laughter as Kenny struggled to get up.

"I- I'm sorry!" Oh shit! I knocked him down!

"Dude- that- that was so awesome!" Kyle held his stomach and laughed.

"Seriously." Stan added in. Kenny finally got up. I expected him to be angry or annoyed, but he looked completely cool with how I just pushed him down. I started to laugh too, feeling like I was fitting in again. Suddenly Kenny frowned and his eyes got stony. Oh no! I shouldn't have laughed! Now he hates me!

"Mother fucker." Kenny spat looking in my direction. The laughter immediately stopped and I felt like panicking. What did I do! I thought it was ok! Oh Jesus Christ!

"Oh shit." Kyle groaned. Then I noticed Kenny's eyes weren't looking at me, but behind my shoulder. I turned around and saw Cartman getting out of his car. They weren't mad at me- they were pissed off he was here! I instantly felt relieved. Which was a weird thing to do when Eric Cartman was near.

"Thanks for inviting _me _fags." Cartman grinned, stealing a glance at me. That made me uncomfortable all over again.

"How'd you find us fat ass?" Kenny rolled his eyes.

"Oh you know- followed the stink of smelly hippie, greedy Jew, poor boy, and twitchy freak." I yelped a little, more from being surprised he acknowledged more than being offended at his statement. Not that I wanted Cartman to pay me any mind- it was just unlike him to do so.

"You sure it wasn't the chips?" Stan reached in the bag and pulled out a big bag of lays with a smirk on his own face. Cartman just grinned wider- why the hell was he grinning! He hated fat jokes!

"Oh wow Stan that's funny. Perhaps you might want to share your comedic routine with some of the people I brought with me. We looked beyond Cartman and saw Wendy, Bebe, and Red pulling in with their car. Kyle stood up.

"Cartman, you piece of shit- why would you." Stan reached up and pulled Kyle down. I was so confused. What was happening here? Why was this so bad? Kenny grabbed my arm and leaned into my ear.

"Stan ended things for real with Wendy yesterday." I immediately got it. Wow- how was Cartman their friend? Well I guess he wasn't if he'd do something like this.

"Hey guys." Red strutted up to our space and sat down on the log between us and Stand and Kyle.

"Hey Kenny, Kyle, _Stan_, and- Tweek?" Bebe had her famous glare fixed on Stan but then looked at me confused. Like- What was I doing there? But to be fair, it was probably a legitimate question. So I took no offense. She pulled Wendy, who looked uncommonly disheveled, with her as she sat down. Wendy placed in the middle. I looked at everyone. Stan looking uncomfortable, Kyle and Bebe locked in a glaring match. Wendy looking into space. Red looking like she didn't give a fuck. Kenny stole glares at Cartman, as if he ruined everything. And it seemed like he did.

"So- isn't this like junior high? All of us together!" Cartman sat on the last space and grinned his chubby face like the devil he was, "Only- oh! It looks like Stan is sitting next to the Jew rather than Wendy."

"And once again Cartman is sitting alone." Kenny used the same fake sweet voice as Cartman did. Only this time everyone gave a small chuckle. Cartman frowned and narrowed his eyes.

I didn't know if I could stand the tension, even with Kenny doing his best to break it. I eyed the alcohol. Surely that would loosen everyone up wouldn't it?

"W-why don't we play I never?" I blurted out the suggestion. Everyone immediately looked at me. Oh shit! I was on the spot! Was that a bad idea? Was I out of line? Jesus Christ why am I so awkward and stupid!

"Good idea! I didn't come down here _not _to drink." Kenny grinned going into one of the bags and taking out some plastic cups. I sighed. Kenny always seemed to bail me out. I was grateful.

"I'm down." Red curled her full lips up and leaned forward.

"Why not." Kyle and Bebe both said at the same time, then gave each other another nasty glare. Soon everyone had a plastic cup and a good amount of liquor in it.

"Alright- since Tweek suggested the game- why doesn't he go first?" Kenny mused while sneaking a sip of his cup already. I bit my lip once again. I didn't want to go first! What was I supposed to say? But I guess it didn't really matter. I took a deep breath and thought for a minute.

"Ok- I never-"


End file.
